Help From Another World 2
by Scribe of Worlds
Summary: Well, well... welllllll I'm not going to say anything. Do keep in mind you need to have read 'Help from Another World' to know what is going on. No I am not ashamed of myself. Yes, blame my old beta. Marked complete for now, more might come, no guarantees.


**I have nothing to say about this.**

 **Written to flush out writer's block, what, three years ago now? When I was still working on the Parting of the Ways, chapter 10 or 11, if I remember correctly. Yes, you need to have read Help from Another World to understand this. Yes, you'll have to thank Alone on the Water for asking me to post this one.**

 **Yes Boromir does die in this one**

 **Yes Leo is awesome.**

 **No I do not apologize.**

 **I shall say nothing else.**

 **=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=**

 _Toss me a review and gather around,_

 _For a story I'll tell, and sing the praise_

 _A tale of the Age of the Ring to astound_

 _A tale of our saviour, Leo Valdez!_

 _._

 _The forest was quiet, Death prowled through the woods,_

 _Sorrow was heavy, regret filled the air._

 _For the Fellowship of the Ring was shattered_

 _And Boromir had gone to a land fair_

 _._

 _Annabeth, Frodo, Sam, the Ring, missing!_

 _A tear-stained note pointing a world away,_

 _Vanished too was Thalia, Merry, Pippin,_

 _Captured and heading the opposite way!_

 _._

 _O what grief, what despair, what loneliness,_

 _Coursed through the ones abandoned, bereft!_

 _Left behind to mourn, to think, to decide_

 _Torn by the duties of East and the West._

 _._

 _Amidst many corpses Boromir lay,_

 _Two dozen orcs with expressions of fright,!_

 _His body needled with five arrow shafts,_

 _A testament to his prowess and might!_

 _._

 _A worthy sendoff this great man needed_

 _Through the worlds like a shots from a bow_

 _The summons picked Leo, Leo Valdez_

 _Armed with a hammer and some expresso_

 _._

 _The device took shape, hulking, powerful_

 _Boasting mighty springs bound to give results_

 _(And a drinks machine no one noticed)_

 _Leo Valdez's Funeral Catapult©!_

 _._

 _Boromir's coffin reverently placed,_

 _Upon the catapult's mighty lever,_

 _Aragorn gave a speech, Nico blessed it_

 _Then they broke out wine and pushed the lever!_

 _._

 _With a mighty_ thwack _the coffin vanished!_

 _Naught but a shape silhouetted in sky!_

 _His companions gave a solemn salute_

 _Then got dead drunk and had a good cry._

 _._

 _The coffin streaked across the darkened sky_

 _Faster than anything that had gone before!_

 _Boromir's spirit both whooped and screamed_

 _As the coffin careened straight for Gondor!_

 _._

Crash _! it smashed straight into Gondor's throne room!_

 _Where Denethor got himself a heart attack!_

 _It landed in the Houses of Resting_

 _The son of Gondor was finally back!_

 _._

 _The catapult was really fun as hell!_

 _Of course Percy wanted to try again!_

 _They decided that they needed more ammo!_

 _So Leo opened the portal again!_

 _._

 _Isengard got a rude awakening_

 _When Thalia and co showed up with a tank!_

 _King Theoden was knocked into his senses_

 _When an apple smashed into his head, point blank!_

 _._

 _And so it was that the Great Eye, Sauron_

 _Found to his great, profound consternation_

 _A piano, a car, some crates of salmon_

 _fireworks flying past his field of vision._

 _._

 _Sharp Annabeth realized their path was clear_

 _For a Finger of Foam had poked the Great Eye_

 _She hotwired the BMW_

 _That had just landed before their eyes!_

 _._

 _They fired fireworks at hapless orcs!_

 _The grand piano knocked down Minas Morgul!_

 _The cow died on impact so they had steak!_

 _The submachine gun shot down a Nazgul!_

 _._

 _A fallen megaphone amplified her screams,_

 _They Were so loud that the great Spider fled!_

 _They met Gollum, who was then lured away_

 _By crates of salmon they threw past his head!_

 _._

 _They drove straight up to the great Cracks of Doom,_

 _Where Annabeth got a very nice tan!_

 _Frodo dropped the Ring into the fire_

 _Lava toasted marshmallows on a pan!_

 _._

 _Thus was the End of the Dark Lord Sauron_

 _Thus is the end of this poor bard's case_

 _Of the quickest quest in Middle Earth_

 _Of whom the hero is Leo Valdez_

 ** _=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=_**

 **Chapter 23 of the real story is coming real soon, around this week, don't worry!**

 **This story is marked complete now, but might be added if I feel like it. Writing crack, drabbles or stuff thats related to Help from Another World but not actually relevant enough to be in the story. Basically if I get writer's block I'll add to here.**

 **Hope this got a good laugh out of you, haha. Who knows, I might turn this into an actual story with dialogue and stuff. It'll be fun.**


End file.
